Thought I'd continue the story today, marking the official end to my masters degree and a start to new chapter after a year in London.
Today, someone told me that I was very brave for what I did this year moving to London, it actually wasn't the first time hearing someone say that to me. I have never thought of myself being a brave person, friendly, open, maybe, but not brave. Until one time at an interview, the interviewer asked me what was the bravest thing you think you've done, I have finally concurred and said the same - quit my job, say goodbye to family, friends and my comfort zone, coming to London to start something new, not knowing what - still think it's probably a slightly better answer than 'almost went skydiving'. Why was it brave? Because the scariest part to me was being on my own, dealing shit on my own, everything on my own. Now, I'm happy to say I'm over this phrase 'on my own' and I'm not scared anymore. Now thinking back, I believe there were a few triggers/reasons that have led me here, which I am truly grateful for.
My brother. He has never been a person of much words, he may be quiet but he knows what he wants and I'm still to date very proud of him making a decision himself to come to UK. Being a big sister, I should have been the inspiration but instead my younger brother have inspired me. Having missed the chance to study abroad during high school was the biggest regrets in my life, and the trip 2 years ago accompanying my brother to his new high school has made me remember that I do not want another regret in life. It was a 'either now or never' moment.
My job. My role at my previous company was not challenging anymore, I may have been doing good at my job, I got promotion, I got paid, but I wasn't searching anymore, I wasn't learning at all. It haw turned me to a lifeless, colorless person, I don't have conversation starters for dinner parties like everybody else, I get stressed about the size of a dress for my boss. I was searching for a way out, now I know, out of the my comfort zone.
My boyfriend. I would have probably gone to London without him anyway, but it was certainly the most reasonable place for both of us to be, I saw a chance and I grasped it. After all these time, he was the one who led me out of my comfort zone and I was surprisingly very comfortable out of it. He has led me make decisions I have never thought I would and I'm certainly grateful for. He might not know all these, but I do owe him a thank you.
Of course, there are also tons of people along the way. My parents - my unfailing support system. My best friend, Lesley - her being here has made it so much easier. Dan and Helen - for giving me a chance.
All of these have reminded me about the book I read 'The Alchemist', it was also related to the naming of this blog (and why I re-started this blog when I moved here). I believe in the universe of energy, if you believe in one thing hard enough, it will happen, eventually and it did for me. I finally did. 阿媽我得左喇!
Today I bought a beautiful glassware, instead of a mug, because today I have transformed, perhaps more fragile, less protected but I'm standing tall and proud of myself.